Jeckele, Shick a Checkele - Jacob Jacobs (1920) - Parody of "A Pintele"

 

My dear little Jack, Send me a little check, Because the wives want to play poker, And I want to be in the game. I, your little package, am waiting for your little check So remember, honey, Send the money And you stay put at home. Listen, my dear husband, I’ll explain it to you, ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay I’m here in the country, a person can choke, ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay I really hope to hear from you soon, ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay So remember, little Jack, Send me a little check, Because the wives are playing poker And I want to be in the game. I, your little package, am waiting for your little check So remember, honey, Send the money And you stay put at home. Now I can write to you: we have a social director, ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay And yesterday a handsome actor arrived, ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay But you are still, for me, my master, my protector, ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay So remember, little Jack… מיין טייער ג'אקעלע שיק מיר א טשעקעלע ווייל די ווייבער ווילן שפילן פויקער און איך וויל זיין אין דער גיים איך דיין פעקעלע ווארט אויף דעם טשעקעלע איז געדיינק זשע האני שיק די מאני און דו בלייב געזונט אין דער היים הערטס מיין ליבער מאן וועל איך דיר ערקלערן איי איי איי איי איי איי איך האב ארום דא אין דער קאנטרי מ'קען דערשטיקט ווערן איי איי איי איי איי איי איי איך האף אין גיכן טאקע פון דיר דאס צו הערן איי איי איי איי איי איי איי איז געדענק זשע ג'אקעלע שיק מיר א טשעקעלע ווייל די ווייבער שפילן שפילן פויקער און איך וויל זיין אין דער גיים איך דיין פעקעלע ווארט אויף דעם טשעקעלע איז געדיינק זשע האני שיק די מאני און דו בלייב געזונט אין דער היים איצט קען איך דיר שרייבן מיר האבן א סאשעל דיירעקטאר איי איי איי איי איי איי איי און נעכטן איז אנגעקומען א שיינער אקטער איי איי איי איי איי איי איי אבער דו ביסט דאך ביי מיר מיין האר מיין פראטעקטער איי איי איי איי איי איי איז געדנענק זשע ג'אקעלע... I wrote the transcription and translation, so please comment and let me know if something is incorrect. Thank you! Source: https://archive.org/details/78_jeckele-shick-a-checkele_jacob-jacobs-abe-ellstein_gbia0400573a

A Glezele Tey - Bruce Adler - An Evening At The Yiddish Theatre Act II

 

Author: Sandi Merle

Vocal: Bruce Adler

Piano: Zalmen Mlotek

The following special broadcast is brought to you by Kalman's Kosher Kitchens,

makers of Kalman's homemade Cholent, 

where our motto is,

if it isn't heartburn, it wasn't Cholent. 

Oh, they call him Kalmen,

with a capital K,

and he keeps things Kosher,

out on the range all day, 

there be no monkey business,

way out here in the west,

not as long as he wears that Magen David on his chest.

Hello, little Buckaroos, and Buckerats,

וואס הערט זיך, וואס מאכט זיך, וואס טוט זיך

Welcome to the Kalmen the Kosher Cowboy Show.

Today we're going to take you on a little trip to The Mountains.

Not the Rocky Mountains,

not the Himalayas,

but the real mountains,

the Emeseh [true] Mountains,

way up north in New York State,

the Catskill Mountains!

Listen, if you will,

to the legend of Moishe Bloom,

otherwise known as:

the last glass of tea.

I checked into the hotel,

I was taken to my room.

My name is Mr. Goldstein,

and I shared with Mr. Bloom,

when all at once a voice I heard,

it came from the PA,

good ladies and kind gentlemen,

we're serving dinner right away.

Oy, yippee-i-ooh, oh, yippie-i-yay, yee hee!

The dining room is open,

and they're serving right away!

So we Shpatzired [strolled] down to the main building,

and we walked into the lobby,

then into the dining room,

myself, Menasha Goldstein,

and my roommate, Moshe Bloom.

They gave us such a menu,

so much food, I said, Oy Vey,

but Bloom said never mind him!

Just bring it right away!

Oy, yippee-i-ooh, oy, yippie-i-yay,

Bloom looked at the menu and said,

Oh boy, come on, bring it right this way.

This was not a menu,

it was “Gone with the Wind.”

He started with a bowl of borscht,

a knaidel and a soup.

A latke, some pastrami,

then his chin began to droop.

He opened up his collar,

and had a liver canopé,

then he yelled for Alka-Seltzer,

because the room began to sway.

Oy, yippee-i-yo, oy, yippie-oy-vey,

Gevald! Bring me Alka-Seltzer,

Gevald! I'm fainting dead away.

I walked out in the air with him,

and I helped him to his room,

then I felt a tugging at my sleeve,

and it was Mr. Bloom,

Oy Goldstein, where are you going?

You're heading the wrong way.

Let's go back to the dining room,

you know, dessert is on the way.

Oy, yippee-i-yo, oy, yippie-oy-vey,

come on, partner, let's go back to the dining room, hoo hoo,

dessert is on the way!

So we doubled back to the old bar dining room and sat down.

And again, he read the menu,

and again, he ordered more.

I thought of one or two desserts,

but Bloom, he ordered four.

A honey cake, a strudel,

a pineapple upside down,

a jubilee of cherries. 

Oy, but what to wash it down?

Oy, A Glazele Tey,

Bring me A Glazele Tey!

The waiter answered,

yes there, Mr. Bloom.

You want some tea?

It's coming right away.

Well dessert arrived,

and as I live,

I doubted my own eyes,

he'll never make a dent in it,

but then to my surprise,

he ate each crumb,

licked the spoon,

and fainted dead away,

“it must have been the glass of tea,”

the waiter heard him say.

Oy, A Glazele Tey,

just put him away,

a dirty rotten glass of tea,

got Moishe Bloom today.

Oy, A Glazele Tey,

just put him away,

Oy, A Glazele Tey,

just put him away,

That dirty rotten glass of tea,

got Moishe Bloom today.

Kim Lei B'Drabah Minei

Shmoozel · Kum Lei B'Drabah Minei

 

Kim Lei B'Drabah Minei X4

I shot an arrow on the seventh day

In the zone our Oorah way

So if you're goin' to kill me, don't make me pay

Because Kim Lei B'Drabah Minei

Kim Lei B'Drabah Minei X4

I was diggin' in your house, I was lookin' for the safe

And I broke a vase along the way

So if you're goin' to kill me, don't make me pay

Because Kim Lei B'Drabah Minei

Kim Lei B'Drabah Minei X4

(Kill him, kill him, don't make him pay X2)

I lit a stack of hay on the Shabbos day

And it burned a man along the way

So if you're goin' to kill me, don't make me pay

Because Kim Lei B'Drabah Minei

Kim Lei B'Drabah Minei X8

(Don't make him pay X2)

If you do two Issurim on the Shabbos day

One gets you killed, and one makes you pay

So even if we kill you, you still gotta pay (uh, seriously?)

Because it ain't Kim Lei B'Drabah Minei  

Kim Lei B'Drabah Minei  X7

(Kill him, kill him, don't make him pay X3)

I said Kim Lei B'Drabah Minei 

Written and composed by Yisroel Horowitz

Click here to hear a similar song written by Reuven Derey

Asher yatzar

Chorus:

Nekovim nekovim Asher yatzar

chalulim chalulim Asher yatzar x2

Let me tell you about a brocho my best by far

You say it much too often called Asher yatzar

We all be 'goin bonkers I'm sure you all believe

If our bodies would be sealed with no way to relieve

(Chorus)

That shabbos meal was good it was really great

A giant bowl of cholent caused a stomachache

My stomach started swirling it started to swell

And then the whole room well it started to smell

(Chorus)

Saying a speech to a very large crowd

Thought the mike was making noises Say a little too loud

Realizing what happened asked to be excused

The crowd they were laughing they were quite amused

(Chorus)

How dry I am how wet I'll be

If I don't find the bathroom key

I found the key I opened the door

But it's too late it's on the floor

(Chorus)

If this song has some meaning don't make the same mistake

When nature is calling make sure you aren't too late

A man's got to do what a man's got to do

But do us all a favor keep it in the bathroom

(Chorus)

The 9th Man On The Screen

Schar Mikvah SGP

שיכור איז דאך א גוי

גייט א גוי אין שענקל אריין, אין שענקל אריין, אין שענקל אריין 
טרינקט ער דארט א גלעזעלע וויין, א גלעזעלע וויין, א גלעזעלע וויין 
אוייייייייייייייייי, שיכור איז דאך א גוי 
שיכור איז ער, טרינקן מוז ער, ווייל ער איז א גוי
שיכור איז ער, טרינקן מוז ער, ווייל ער איז א גוי 

גייט דער גוי פון שענקל ארויס, פון שענקל ארויס, פון שענקל ארויס 
ברעכט ער א אידן, שייבעלעך אויס, פענסטערלעך אויס, שויבעלעך אויס
אוייייייי, שיכור איז דאך א גוי 
שיכור איז ער, טרינקן מוז ער, ווייל ער איז א גוי
שיכור איז ער, טרינקן מוז ער, ווייל ער איז א גוי 

גייט דער איד אין בית המדרש אריין, אין בית המדרש אריין, אין בית המדרש אריין 
כאפט ער דארט א מנחה'לע אריין, א קדושה אריין, א מנחה'לע אריין 
אויייייייייייי, אויייייייייייייי 
ניכטער איז דאך דער איד
ניכטער איז ער, דאווענען מוז ער, ווייל ער איז א איד
ניכטער איז ער, דאווענען מוז ער, ווייל ער איז א איד

More better versions

Another Yiddish Mashke Song 

I lost my shoe

Ech Du, I lost my shoe
On the way to London zoo
Go ask Shmuel Lew
He'll tell you what to do

Go back to the zoo
And there you'll find your shoe
And don't forget to thank Shmuel Lew 

Hey למען ישמעו, למען ילמדו
I find my shoe by the kangaroo in the London zoo
Thanks to Shmuel Lew

Gefilte Fish - Moshe Mendelson

A tribute to the traditional Ashkenazi Dish, in Yiddish!

Mikvah Dip - Avi Raps

Catch you later, late for Seder
Gonna take off all my Kleider
Mikvah's hot - Cholent pot
It's the dip I like a lot

Take off my sock; take off my shoe
Mikvah's made for every Jew
Start your day with something cool
It's a Mikvah, not a pool

Chorus:
Come on everybody, do the Mikvah dip
The floor's a little slimy, so please don't slip
If you get thirsty, just take a sip
Come on everybody, do the Mikvah dip
Do the Mikvah dip
Do the Mikvah dip
Do the dip, yeah

Catch the chatter; Chop a Schmooze
Mikvah's where you'll hear the news
Alter Kakers, Yungerleit -
Oh my gosh! What a sight! 

Lost my towel, take a chance
Wipe my face, on my friend's pants
Take a shower - maybe not
You'll stay clean - the water's hot

Chorus

Oh, you gotta do the Mikvah dip
Do the dip
Oh, you can't go wrong
When you're where you belong
In the Mikky

Do the dip, and do the dunk
Now you're pure, before you stunk
Recharge your soul, that's the goal
Get your dose of pure Bittul

Says do not dive on the wall
Just too bad the sign's so small
Every day is something new
Except the water, it's older than you 

Chorus 

Catch you later, late for Seder
Gonna take off all my Kleider
Mikvah's hot - Cholent pot
It's the dip I like a lot

Take off my sock; take off my shoe
Mikvah's made for every Jew
Start your day with something cool
It's a Mikky, not a pool

Chorus 

Do the dip